Two Pet Dicks by John Inman

I received this book for free from in exchange for an honest review.
This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

TwoPetDicksLGTwo Pet Dicks by John Inman
Release Date: March 18, 2016
Pages: 200 • Format: eARC
Published By: Dreamspinner Press
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Old friends and business partners, Maitland Carter and Lenny Fritz, may not be the two sharpest pickle forks in the picnic basket, but they have big hearts. And they are just now coming around to the fact that maybe their hearts are caught in a bit of turmoil.

Diving headfirst into a whirlwind of animal mayhem, these two self-proclaimed pet detectives strive to earn a living, reunite a few poor lost creatures with their lonely owners, and hopefully not make complete twits of themselves in the process.

When they stumble onto a confusing crime involving venomous reptiles, which is rather unnerving since they’re more accustomed to dealing with misplaced puppy dogs and puddy tats, they take the plunge into becoming real-life crime stoppers.

While they’re plunging into that, they’re also plunging into love. They just haven’t admitted it to each other yet.


I am trying to figure out if I want to have lunch with John Inman so he can tell me hilarious stories that come into his head or just climb in his head and swim around until my fingers get pruny. I have no idea what I want or what I am saying, I can’t stop laughing and shaking my head at this book.

Unearthing lost pets is a tenuous proposition at the best of times. It’s a big wide world out there with a gazillion places to hide.

Two Pet Dicks is ridiculous and I mean that with the highest amount of respect possible. It’s ridiculous in the way slap stick comedy is meant to be; it’s smart, witty and the physical comedy is spot on.

On top of the comedy, this was so damn sweet. Maitland and Lenny have been best friends forever and have done all their first together. Sure, they have sex when between boyfriends or on stake outs or really, whenever one is horny, but they have this underlined deep emotion that I adored so much and made my heart full.

Sometimes it’s odd carrying on an intermittent affair with someone for a decade and a half, from the beginning of puberty onward.

The mystery of the missing Gila monster gave this story so much life. Sure, there are also other animals the Pet Dicks have to find but the more than missing lizard gave the story a lot of twists and turns as we learn it’s never… just... aboutalizard.

These two men are cock blocked by the most irritating animals and shenanigans but it was so funny. A Chihuahua who can’t control his bowels. An African Grey who curses like a sailor. A missing Gila monster, a gerbil who’s drag queen pet sitter is a mess over, lost dogs, hairy palmed monkeys and why did there have to be snakes? *shudders*

Now this is funny, it’s hella funny but don’t let the comedy sway you from thinking this isn’t romantic because it’s so very romantic. I absolutely adored the love between the friends who didn’t quite know how to move forward and get what they wanted. It was heartwarming watching the men fumble along as they come to terms with their feelings and be able to share it with one another. Friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes when they have been friends since childhood as Mait and Lenny have, it tickles me in all the right places.

And yet, what I enjoyed most with the story,  was it was full of fun sexy times but the intimate moments and one intimate moment specifically was amazing.  The words, the actions and all the feelings were so well written that by that alone, makes this one hell of a romantic book.

I was beginning to wonder how long I would be able to maintain this illusion that we were merely friends with benefits, when even the shoes on my feet were starting to realize I wanted more out of our relationship.

Oh boy. I have so many highlights and notes from this that I don’t quite know what to say. I want to tell you everything, but I want you to read too and just enjoy the ride. I now know that I need to go back and officially meet Arthur with is love pollen and the other residents of Belladonna Arms because it sounds like an amazing place to live just from Lenny’s assessment alone. *winks*

Two Pet Dicks will have clutching your chest in laughter while it holds your heart with the sweet romance. John Inman has created this world where two friends not only grow up to experience and experiment life with one another, but become partners in every way humanly possible. Mait and Lenny are unique, they are hilarious and they now hold a place in my romantic heart where they can also tickle my funny bone.


About John Inman

John has been writing fiction for as long as he can remember. Born on a small farm in Indiana, he now resides in San Diego, California where he spends his time gardening, pampering his pets, hiking and biking the trails and canyons of San Diego, and of course, writing. He and his partner share a passion for theater, books, film, and the continuing fight for marriage equality.

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